The Starving Novelist
 
Most of you probably haven't noticed, but for my one or two loyal followers (lol- "followers" - makes me sound like a cult leader), yes, I've been gone a bit longer than usual.  Last week was crazy, well, crazier than usual.  My kids were out of school because of 'winter break' Monday and Tuesday, and I also started getting sick on Tuesday.  I went to the Dr.'s on Wednesday, and yep, sure enough, I had Strep Throat.  Note: when I get Strep Throat, I GET Strep Throat, meaning, it's not just a little sore throat mixed with a slight fever; it's my tonsil(s) is as white and swollen as a ping-pong ball, and I feel like death.  Needless to say, I could barely write a text message, let alone a blog entry.

To make everything 10x worse . . . I've been committing a big writer's no-no.  I've been comparing myself to other writers (eek!).  The funny thing is, I'm not comparing my books to theirs, but my life to theirs.  I'm reading their 'how I got my agent' stories or their bios, and all I can think is; 'I've never taken those classes, I don't have that degree, I don't have that experiece, I've never read those books, I don't belong to that group, etc., etc.  Seriously, I'm embarrassed to say I actually went to the library and checked out a Jane Austen novel, JUST because it seemed like every "serious" women's fiction writer has read Jane Austen.  Of course, I was bored to tears and only made it through the first chapter (barely). 

I know, this is bad and SCREAMS insecurity.  I kind of feel like I'm back in high school, and I'm looking at all the popular girls and mentally listing all the ways I'm not like them. 

I have to keep reminding myself that there are different paths that lead to the same destination.  True, I was not one of the "popular" girls in high school, but somehow I still managed to have some awesome friends, succeed in college, get a good job, and meet an awesome guy (my husband).  So, even though I don't like Jane Austen, I can't write a novel in a month, and I don't an MFA in creative writing; I can still succeed as a writer, and come hell or high water, that's what I plan on doing.
 
 
Off the emotional rollercoaster, that is.  Seriously, I feel more like Sybil these days- complete with multiple personalities- than a writer.  Matter of fact, since they've been spending so much time with me lately, I feel it only right that I should introduce them (my alter egos, of course).  Note: these are just some of my favorite personalities, they visit me the most often ;o)

Confident Connie- She can do anything.  She will keep on revising, editing, and querying; knowing she will eventually find the perfect agent.  If it doesn't happen, that's okay, because her next novel will be totally awesome and will definetly get someone's attention!

Anxious Annie- She questions and worries about everything.  Should she include a prologue?  Should she nudge that agent?  Is her synopsis long/short enough?   Should she dump that chapter?  Does that paragraph need to be clarified? 

Gloomy Glenda- She usually comes for extended stays after after a rejection, but will pop in for a visit while writing and revising.  She questions whether or not she's 'good enough' and if she should be 'wasting' her time. 

Determined Deanna- She is usually the one to kick Gloomy Glenda out.  She knows she has no other choice but to carry on.  Writing is her destiny, her calling, her dream.  For her, writing is living.  It's as vital to her as food and air.  She will reach her goal!

Determined Deanna is my favorite.  I just wish she'd visit more often.  ;o)